Hillbilly biscuit thief Dear Patches, My owners decided that it was time for a new puppy and brought home the most out-of-control dog they could find. I call him Tornado because he runs through the house as if the devil is behind him and leaves a trail of devastation. Nothing is safe where Tornado goes. […]
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Bothersome bees Dear Patches, Why are there so many annoying bees flying around the garden? Don’t they have anything better to do? Last week, I saw one of those buzzing insects flying from one flower to the next. I was curious, so I followed him. My doggy brain wanted to know what was so fascinating
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Sneaky cat Dear Patches, My doggy brain just cannot comprehend how our cat, Tenacious, operates. Sometimes, he sneaks up on me while I’m minding my own business – like peacefully chewing my toy – and then he pounces on me as if I’m giant prey. I get such a fright and then my heart starts
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Holiday nightmare Dear Patches, What’s more interesting than finding travel bags on the bed? Getting inside and scrambling, kneading and unpacking the neatly folded clothing inside. I make sure that the softer fabrics are in one corner, knead the T-shirts into one heap and create a soft pillow for my kitty head. When Mom comes
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New neighbour Dear Patches, Almost a year ago, a friendly couple moved in next door to us in our complex. They are such marvellous people. It wasn’t long before I jumped over the wall that separates us and introduced myself. They quickly invited me in, and it wasn’t long before they offered me treats and
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Mocking bird Dear Patches, For years now, Pollie, our African grey, has been mimicking everything everybody says, sings or whistles, as well as the telephone and the alarm. It is so annoying! And what’s even worse, is that he is so good at it, that I can’t distinguish between him and the real source of
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Tipping the scales Dear Patches, Here we go again. It’s the beginning of the year, and Mom is on a ‘let’s-lose-some-weight’ drive to get rid of all those festive season rolls she accumulated. I wish she would keep all that exercise to herself and not try to involve me as well. I’m talking morning and
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I dig it Dear Patches, Every year, usually during spring, my mom spends some time in the garden. She digs holes in the ground, places plants in the holes and then covers them with soil. It looks like so much fun, and I cannot help myself… I also want to play that game. So, when
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Baby gate disaster Dear Patches, The cats and I love to play chase in the house. Flash is the fastest and he always gets away from me, but he cheats! He will run from the kitchen to the lounge, through the dining room, down the hall and then over the baby gate at Mom’s room.
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Scattered cushions Dear Patches, The other day, I got bored and jumped onto the couch. I swear I smelt some treats in the cushions and I started to dig, but I couldn’t find them. I was certain Mom had hidden them from me, so I flung the first cushion through the air. Then I attacked
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Butt naked Dear Patches, This has been an extremely cold winter and I’ve been wearing my favourite jackets for warmth and comfort every day. Now that the days are warming up, my mom keeps removing my jacket during the day. I feel so naked! Mom says that my skin has to breathe and that I
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Ask Patches is a tongue-in-cheek series where pets ask questions and get these quirky answers from Patches. The information is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be taken to heart. Murky waters Dear Patches, I live in a huge tank with two other fish. We are generally happy and well fed. But we struggle to
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