Mocking bird
Dear Patches,
For years now, Pollie, our African grey, has been mimicking everything everybody says, sings or whistles, as well as the telephone and the alarm. It is so annoying! And what’s even worse, is that he is so good at it, that I can’t distinguish between him and the real source of the sound. I would hear my name, thinking that it is Dad calling me from the farmhouse. I would run as fast as my Rottweiler legs can take me, just to find out that it was Pollie who called my name. To top that, he would laugh just like Mom. I get so annoyed that I start to bark at him, and then he barks back at me! What can I do about this bird?
Rodney the Rottweiler
Patches: I can only imagine your frustrations with Pollie. He is obviously bored. Give him a few toys that he can play with to occupy him. The more toys he has, the less bored he’ll be. And don’t give in to the frustration by barking at him – just ignore him. Next time he calls you, pretend that you didn’t hear him and lie down on your bed or play with your favourite toy. If you don’t react to his calls, he might stop.
Language barrier
Dear Patches,
I think my owner should go on a course that explains the body language of cats to him, because he clearly doesn’t understand me. When I walk down the hallway, meowing for his attention, he will just simply respond with, “Yes, Garfield, what do you want?” I’ll stand in front of him and explain in the best possible way that I want a treat. I’ll then run to the treats jar and meow even louder. And what does he do? He just ignores me or says that I must wait until after dinner – like, every night! Why doesn’t he get it that I want treats sooner?
Hungry Garfield
Patches: I think your owner understands exactly what you want but knows what is best for you. If you get a treat every time that you ask for one, you’ll soon become overweight, or even obese. Be grateful that your owner keeps a strict routine with you and keeps your weight under control. Rather play with your toys if you are bored or drink some water if you feel hungry.
Mom’s new boyfriend
Dear Patches,
Can you believe that Mom decided I’m not good enough for her anymore? She got herself a new boyfriend, and he thinks he’s the cat’s whiskers! But I have news for him – I’m the cat! He sits so close to her that I can’t wiggle myself in between them. And I don’t know what he’s trying to do with my mom. To me, it looks like he’s going to bite her, but apparently it’s just an innocent kiss. Mom just laughs at me, and says I should relax my tail a bit. I refuse to sit on his lap. I give him the dirtiest cat looks ever, and ignore him flat out when he calls me, but none of this helps. What can I do next?
Jealous Jasmine
Patches: It seems as if your mom found herself human companionship. Don’t worry, and don’t be so jealous – she’s not going to get rid of you. It might take a little bit of time, but you will get used to him, eventually. Give him an opportunity to like you, by being on your best cat behaviour. Or even better, bring him a ‘special’ gift, like an insect or a spider, and see how he reacts. If he appreciates your gift, then you might become friends.
So lonely
Dear Patches,
I’m an extremely lonely mouse. All I want is a friend to spend some time with. My humans work all day long, and at night they hardly spend time with me before they go to bed. Do you think I can get a mousy friend to play with?
Lonely Lilly
Patches: I think getting a friend will be the best idea ever. Ask your human to get another mouse friend you can play and hang out with when they’re not there. Mice are highly sociable creatures who do better when they have friends.
